The hot wings eating competition organised by a Mumbai eatery turns out to be a near-suicidal experience. Here's why...
The "Extremely spicy" wings
Beads of sweat glisten on our forehead. A volcano starts erupting next inside our belly. Then the mind saunters off for a walk, like it happens with potent narcotics. And finally, the body goes into a temporary state of rebellion, saying, "Excuse me, I didn't sign up for this torture. So take a hike. I quit."
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The reporter, while he's still fairly confident
That's our unfortunate state after completing a hot wings eating competition at Raasta on a balmy Saturday afternoon. The warning signs are there right from the beginning, though. For, the first step in the entire process is signing a piece of paper that absolves the establishment of any repercussions born out of consuming the "EXTREMELY spicy" wings. But sadly, we dismiss this as hyperbole, thinking, "Pshaw, you'll need a better marketing gimmick to fool us than this." So we sign up sans any trepidation, confident that this challenge will be a breeze.
Halfway through the challenge
That misplaced confidence gets a further fillip when one of the organisers shows us a video of a participant gobbling six wings in 41 seconds. "Ha! That looks like a cakewalk," we fool ourselves into thinking. The equation is pretty simple — strip the wings down to the bone in less than that time and you walk away with the winner's trophy.
It's a straight-up Man Vs Food situation, really. Except, the second warning sign arrives in the form of a glass of milk. We are told that it will help us regain our physical equilibrium on completing the challenge. "Okay, this is now starting to look a little less funny," we admit. But it's when the actual plate of wings arrives that our heart skips a beat. Put simply, it looks like the sort of stuff that comes with a sign saying, "DANGER! Not suitable for children." But it's too late to walk away.
After the trauma has set in
Our self-respect is at stake here, after all. So, with a gulp in our throat, we tell the timer, "Start the clock, please." The first wing goes down pretty smoothly, to be honest. So we think, "It was just a false alarm, thank heavens." The second one, however, reveals the true extent of our impending ordeal.
the trophy we failed to win
For, that's the one with which the red and green chilli paste, dry red chillies and black pepper in the wings introduce themselves to our palate, meaning by the time we are struggling with the fourth one, our stomach's saying, "You wait and watch, son. There will be hell to pay for this." And true to its word, the volcano is ready to rumble when we finally complete the challenge in 2.47 minutes.
That's a rather respectable effort, if we may say so ourselves. But it's no consolation for the complete trauma affecting our senses. And so the question is, would we advocate it to anyone else? The answer is, yes, the next time we want to get back at a friend who has pranked us successfully.
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