Why don’t I trust him fully?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year-and-a-half, and I once found out that he had been flirting with another woman early on in our relationship. He swore that nothing had happened, and that he hadn't even met her in person, so I forgave him and decided to put it behind me. The problem is, since then, I always get the feeling that he is still hiding something from me, even though I am sure he is faithful to me. It's as if I have not been able to put that incident to rest and am constantly questioning or second guessing whatever he says or does. I know how unfair this is, and I also know it is making it impossible for me to evolve with him. I want to fix it. What should I do?
You can try being honest with him and tell him what you're struggling with. Sometimes, speaking to your partner about what you can't fix can allow them to empathise, and also give them a perspective that is missing. Your boyfriend can't do anything about how you feel, but he may be able to understand that you need time to re-evaluate where things stand between you two. Also, when it comes to forgiveness, it is important to understand that it cannot be conditional. To forgive is to accept that something wrong occurred, but you are committing to rebuilding a bond because you want to make it work. It may take you a while, but what you do depends upon how badly you want this person in your life, and what sort of future you envisage with him.

Everybody thinks a friend and I are dating, which makes this awkward for the both of us. I don't know how she feels about me, so I have no response. What do I do?
How do you feel about her, and what stops you from asking her a direct question? Alternatively, why not simply tell everyone the truth?

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