Why did she hide her past?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently found out that my girlfriend had a serious relationship with a guy for three years, before we got together. She had never mentioned this to me, and I only found out because a close friend of hers accidentally let it slip while we were chatting at a party recently. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't say anything because it was in the past and she wanted to put it behind her. I didn't push her to explain, but it has been bothering me because I thought I knew everything about her. If she could keep such a big piece of information away from me for so long, given that we have been together for two years, I don't know if there are other secrets I need to know about. How do I get her to tell me more about herself? Does she not trust me?
You are making this about yourself, instead of focusing on her reasons. If she wants to put something behind her, she obviously has her reasons. Being in a relationship doesn't mean we no longer have access to our personal lives and preferences. She doesn't owe you all her secrets. She has been with you for two years, so you are both presumably happy with your relationship, and she wants to let what happened in the past stay there. If you are worried about her withholding information, ask her for a better explanation. If she says she isn't ready to talk about it, respect that and give her time. Either way, go with what you know, not what you think may or may not have happened, because to go down that path is unfair to her as well as your relationship.

What is the best way to ask someone out on a date?
Being straightforward is usually the best approach, so the person you're asking knows what the implications and any expectations are. Being honest is also the nicest way to start any relationship on a strong footing.

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