We’re back but still confused...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was in a relationship with a guy for a year, and we ended it because neither of us knew if we wanted to be together. Around five months ago, we were chatting online, and he casually suggested giving it another go. I agreed because I thought things would be different. We have been back together for a month now, but it all seems the same. We don't know where this is going, or what the future holds for us. I don't know if we are doing something wrong, or if it's just our nature to be apathetic. I am confused and so is he, but neither of us seems to know how to change things. What do you suggest?
If neither of you wants to take that step and address this in as direct a manner as possible, you may have to resign yourself to an extended period of inertia or until one of you loses patience and decides to end it again. Maybe you should both consider writing down what you want from each other and from this relationship and reading your notes out to each other. Open and easy communication takes time to achieve, and it seems as if neither you nor your partner have addressed this yet. Maybe writing in private may allow you both to articulate what you cannot discuss in person. You should also consider that the longer you maintain this status quo, the more you both lose out on time to strengthen this relationship or abandon it in favour of partners you are more compatible with. It may sound ruthless, but drawing a limit for oneself can be a good thing.

Am I right to doubt my boyfriend's fidelity when he hasn't done anything to arouse my suspicions? I feel this way because of my ex, which is unfair, but I don't know how to stop.
Separating your ex from your current partner shouldn't be difficult if you can remind yourself of why that relationship ended and why this one began.

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