We meet for just 2 weeks a year!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I have been married for over three years but have only spent five months together. He moved to another country for work and only comes back for two weeks at the end of each year. This arrangement works for him because it is financially lucrative, but the consequences have been terrible for my mental health. I am lonely, have no one to chat with, and just feel my life passing by as I wait for him to turn up. It doesn't even feel like a meaningful relationship because, while he's here, he has to leave just when I am starting to get used to having him around. This arrangement won't change because he won't give up his job, and I am beginning to consider going on dates with other people to see if there is an alternative. I know this is wrong, but I can't cope anymore. What should I do?
Your marriage isn't working, and your husband's refusal or inability to make changes probably means that things are only going to get worse. Dating someone isn't a solution because you aren't addressing the problem. Talk to your husband and tell him why this can't go on. If he can't come up with a solution that works for you, such as taking you with him to the country he works in, talk about your future together. Ending this will have repercussions, obviously, so consider getting legal and financial advice before making any decision. Whatever you do, however, make sure it is a decision that is grounded in reality and one that takes your mental health into consideration.

Is it okay for my ex to say that he wants me back, while he is dating someone else?
How do you feel about him, and the possibility of getting back with him? If you are considering it, ask him to prove it by first ending the relationship he is in. Until that happens, this isn't going to go anywhere.

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