We do not get along mentally...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was recently engaged to a girl who was introduced to me by my parents. It is an arranged match, and they know the girl's family well. I have no problem with this because I trust my parents and have not had the time to date anyone because of my busy career. A few weeks ago, I went out to dinner with my fiancé, and we began speaking about things. This was the first time I had managed to have an in-depth conversation with her, and I was quite shocked at some of the things she said because they were completely at odds with my beliefs. She had some prejudices that didn't make sense to me, for instance, and I went home very troubled. I tried speaking to my parents about this the next day, but they laughed it off and said it would take me time to adjust to someone I don't know well. Is this a problem? Should I just assume I will get along with my fiancé after a while?
You and your fiancé alone can answer that question, although the smart thing to do would be to try and spend more time with her before the wedding. Your parents may assume things will work out based on their experience with arranged marriages, and they may be right too, but that is speculative. This ultimately involves you and your partner alone, and it makes sense to understand her as well as you can before you commit to a lifelong relationship. Maybe you can put your points of view across and allow her to see where you're coming from. Marriage is about understanding each other and accepting or rejecting preconceived notions. It also involves a willingness to be more accepting of other perspectives. The better you communicate with each other, and the more honest you are about your expectations, the easier it will be for you both to embark upon this journey together. Don't be afraid to talk about what's on your mind.

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