Want to tell a friend I like her...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I want to tell a friend of mine that I have feelings for her but am not sure if I should wait until I get to know her better. We have common friends and have known each other for a year or so, but I am wary of how she will react. I don't know if she will mention this to any of our other friends and how they will look at me if they find out. A part of me is also unsure if my feelings are genuine or if this is just an infatuation because we spend a lot of time together. I won't know how I really feel until I go out with her or meet her for dinner, so there is no solution to this. How do I find a way of gauging my own feelings without causing any drama within the group?
Why is there no solution other than going on a date? Why can't you simply meet for coffee, as a friend, and get to know her better? If there is something between the two of you, the signs will reveal themselves in time. If they don't, at least you will both be better judges of each other's characters by spending more time together. Also, if she isn't interested in meeting for coffee outside a group setting, you will have your answer without the need for that conversation with her. You're probably overthinking this, so I suggest you simply speak to her as a friend before evaluating how you feel and whether your feelings are genuine.

My girlfriend wants me to spend more time with her and her friends, but it always means that our weekends leave us with very little time for ourselves. Is she afraid of being with me alone?
If she is, why not ask her. If she isn't, it's possible that she simply isn't aware of how you feel and may think about this differently when she does. Maybe she assumes you enjoy the company of her friends.

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