Want to know if feeling is mutual

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I find out if the attraction I feel for someone is mutual? I have been making a lot of eye contact with a guy at the office, and I often catch him staring at me, too, but we don't really flirt. We speak to each other during lunch but it's not a proper conversation. I have considered asking him out to coffee a few times, but I constantly wait for him to give me some clue before I initiate this in any way. I don't want to be embarrassed by misinterpreting the whole thing, but it's been two months that this has been going on and I am starting to get impatient. I just want to know if he's interested.
If you don't want to wait, and just want to get this question out of the way, you should ask him out for coffee. The possibility of embarrassment doesn't arise because all you are doing is catching up with a colleague to try and get to know him better. His reaction, body language, and anything specific that crops up during this chat, assuming he accepts, will give you a clearer picture. If that doesn't help, you can ask him a direct question too, although that is when you may have to prepare for any awkwardness in the event that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

A girl I know rejected me a few months ago, and said she wasn't interested in a relationship. At the same time, she sent me a friend request on Facebook, which is confusing. I haven't accepted because I don't know what she wants from me. Should I assume she wants to be friends and just leave it at that?
It's perfectly acceptable for people to want platonic relationships, and it is your prerogative to accept or reject that request. It's also possible that this person wants to get to know you better, out of curiosity, given that she knows what your feelings for her are like. It's your call at this point.

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