Want her to have better interests

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I love my girlfriend a lot but can't seem to stand any of the people she is close to. Her friends are all shallow and flaky in some way and are always convincing her to waste time and energy on things that don't matter. She doesn't get what I have to say about them even though I have tried on numerous occasions. I have also tried telling her to focus on more important things, but she says her relationships with them are as important as everything else around her. I don't know if this is going to create problems for us because I am starting to doubt her ability to evolve as a person as we spend more time together. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone as committed to achieving things as I am, and I don't get that sense of confidence from her based upon how she spends her weekends. I know I am being harsh, but this bothers me a lot and I am thinking of ending our relationship because I don't want to get too attached to her and then get hurt when it doesn't work out.
You claim to love her, but also seem to have serious issues with how she lives her life and who she chooses to be with. You may have ideas about your future and what you intend to accomplish, but she is entitled to make those decisions for herself too. You can't accept one aspect of her personality, talk about loving her, and then reject things that matter to her. I think ending this is the right choice because it will be good for her to be with someone who wants her for who she is, not for how she can help someone achieve their own goals. I suggest you think about why you love her, why you wanted to be with her in the first place, and what you want an ideal partner to be like before making any decision about your future.

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