Toxic ex is going to be a neighbour

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently met my ex-boyfriend at a party and found out that he is moving to my building next month. We had a toxic relationship that took a toll on me, and this was the first time I met him in two years. I don't know how I will cope with his proximity and am worried that it may cause all that pain to come flooding back. What should I do? I don't want to move because it is my home and locality, but I am frightened that being so close to him will push me into a state of depression.
If your ex has that kind of hold over you, it's possible that you haven't been able to process the grief or trauma of your relationship ending. You need better coping mechanisms and shouldn't have to consider moving out of your home. Giving someone that kind of power over you is unfair and needs to be addressed. I suggest you consider therapy and speak to a professional about your past, as well as how you have been doing since that relationship ended. This may take a while, because there is no shortcut to getting over something and moving on, but you have to also believe that there will come a time when you will be able to face him without feeling a thing.

My mother is a widow and recently went out on a date with a man her age. I don't feel comfortable about this and don't know how I am supposed to support her. The man is single, and they are adults, but I still can't wrap my head around the idea. I want her to be happy, but this feels like an insult to my late father's memory. What should I do?
You should remind yourself that your mother is an individual too, apart from being your mother and your late father's wife. If you believe she is entitled to happiness, ask yourself if that is what your father would want for her too.

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