There’s no joy when we meet...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

When does one know that a relationship has run its course? I have been with someone for three years and it feels like there is no future for us. We are together only because we are used to each other, not because there is anything genuine or worth saving. My partner doesn't talk about it but, when we meet, it feels like two roommates getting together to eat a meal. There is no joy, no sharing of what is going on in our lives, and nothing that suggests we have something meaningful between us. My friends have noticed it too, but they think it's just because we have been together for so long. I think it's something deeper and don't want to feel this way anymore. Should I tell him it's over?
You haven't said anything about your feelings for him, or whether you sense any reciprocal affection. Relationships can be saved if people in them believe they are worth saving. If there are no feelings, there is no future. All relationships start to feel stale without a bit of work, but the successful ones are based on a very real need for two people to be with each other. Talk to your partner about that aspect, and whether he wants you in his life, then ask yourself the same questions. That conversation will give you both a better idea of where this is going.

Should there be a spark between my girlfriend and me, given that we have been dating for just three months? It just feels normal, like we are two people who decided to get together because we agreed to give it a try. There is no feeling of magic.
Magic and sparks sound great, but they usually occur in movies rather than real life. Relationships are about love, affection, companionship, and wanting to share your life with someone you like. If you both have those things, you're good. Also, it has only been three months. Give it some time before judging it so critically.

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