Should we get together again?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend and I made a pact that we would marry if we hadn't found someone worthy of being with. I had two relationships since then, and am sure he was with a few people, too, but none of them worked out. The people I was with just didn't match up to him for several reasons. He messaged me over the weekend and asked me out, and I agreed because it had been a while. When we met, he asked if our old pact still made sense. I didn't respond because I wasn't sure if he was joking, but I think he's serious and wants me to think about it seriously, too. It's been on my mind because he and I had a good thing going, and I think we still have strong feelings for each other. We broke up only because we were both headstrong people who couldn't agree on some important issues. I am tempted to give it a shot, but don't know if I may be making the biggest mistake of my life. How do I decide?
You can only decide by meeting again, spending time with him, and evaluating how you have both evolved (or not) in the time since you were last in a relationship. People change, as do feelings, and it's impossible to understand whether you are setting yourself up for failure or a life-changing move unless you get to know each other all over again. Put aside your feelings for each other and think about why things ended the first time. Isolate the issues that mattered, that you couldn't see eye to eye on, and find out if they can be addressed this time around. Talk about the big questions, and a commitment for life, and what that means or involves. If you can both arrive at a better place of understanding what that means, or what you both need to work on to make it possible, you should be able to make a more informed decision.

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