Should we get back together?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been considering getting back with my ex-boyfriend after being separated from him for a little over a year. We had a bad breakup and didn't speak for a while, but neither of us dated anyone else after our relationship ended. He reached out a few weeks ago and we began chatting again, at which point he apologised and said he had been thinking a lot about why we grew apart. I had some time to think about what happened too, and it feels as if he has matured and tried to become a better person since then. He asked me out to dinner a while ago and I haven't responded because I get the feeling that he wants us to try this relationship again. I have conflicting thoughts about it because even though I miss him and wish things could be the way they were, I was also caused a lot of pain and have no way of knowing if this will happen again. It may be the worst idea I have had, given how long it has taken me to start feeling a little normal. What should I tell him?
It's impossible to assume that someone has changed based on a few conversations, because relationships end or evolve with time. Yes, it's possible that he has genuinely made an effort to learn from his mistakes, but there is no way for you to find out if this means you both have a second opportunity to make this work. If you have feelings for him and want to tread carefully, you can always meet him for dinner and see how things go. You are under no obligation and can back out at any moment if things get serious. Alternatively, you can evaluate the current situation, gauge whether you are better off without this person in your life and take some time for yourself. Making big decisions is always easier when one is in sound physical and mental health. Take your time until you feel that way.

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