Should I tell him I’m not interested?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year old woman and spend a lot of time with a male friend who I really like. He likes me too and we are always going out and doing all kinds of things together. We have never spoken about a relationship or how we feel about each other, which is great because I know that I like him but not enough to become romantically involved in future. This is a perfect friendship, and I am very aware that I don't want to ruin it in any way. My fear is how he may start to look at this as time progresses. He may want to change this and may tell me how he feels about me, which may make things awkward. Should I inform him that I am not interested? What if he thinks I am being presumptuous?
There is nothing presumptuous about telling someone you value their friendship. If you spend time with each other, getting clarity on how you treat this relationship is precisely what you should both do to prevent any awkwardness and making sure your friendship lasts. You are both adults and speaking about your feelings honestly is a mark of maturity that should be encouraged. Don't overthink this. Talk about what's on your mind and you may be surprised by how he reacts.

My husband and I stopped having sex almost ten years ago. He passed away a few months ago and I recently began dating an old friend. I know he wants to have sex with me, but I am afraid because it's been so long since I was physically intimate. How do I manage this without ruining this relationship?
Try and think about what your concerns are, and whether they are physical or emotional. Speak to your partner about why you are hesitant. If you are worried about your body, consider speaking to your doctor who may be able to allay specific fears. Above all, take as much time as you need to get comfortable with the idea.

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