Should I tell him about my one-night stand?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I had a one-night stand with a friend a few years ago, while dating my boyfriend. We are still together but he knows nothing about this. I am not in touch with that friend and don't even know if he still lives in my city. My boyfriend and I had a few issues at the time, and we weren't sure if our relationship would last, which is probably why I slipped and did what I did. Since then, we have worked a lot on our problems and have been in a very good place for a while. I am pretty sure he wants to take this to the next level and have come to accept that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. My problem is whether or not I should come clean and talk about what happened in the past. On the one hand, I don't need to because it doesn't affect us today. On the other, it feels as if I am being dishonest if I don't mention it. If I am honest, and he doesn't accept that this doesn't matter to us today, I may lose him forever. What should I do?
You can, as you point out, simply say nothing. It's possible that he has aspects of his past that he would like to keep from you too. Ultimately, this depends upon how strong your relationship really is. What happened in the past, for whatever reason, has no bearing on how you both accept each other today. If you think this bond is strong enough to accept and forgive what has happened, you can put across your story and hope he looks at it from the right perspective. Ultimately, this boils down to your personal history and what you choose to share. It can go either way because we can't always predict how people will react. The only thing you can do is be honest, if you choose to talk about it, and hope he sees it the same way.

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