Should I risk dating at 45?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 45-year old man and have been single for almost twenty years. I was married for a year, but it ended in divorce because my wife and I couldn't get along. I have not been in touch with her since we separated, and I have also not been on a date with anyone since then because I was disillusioned by the whole idea of dating. A few weeks ago, a neighbour of mine asked if I would like to go out to dinner with her. She is a widow with two grown children who don't live with her, and I have known her for over a decade when she moved into my building. I didn't respond immediately and asked for some time, but I am nervous because I don't know if this is a good idea. I don't know if she has feelings for me, or if she just wants to be friends. I like the idea of a companion because I have been lonely for so long now, but I am also worried because if we end up hurting each other I won't be able to speak to her in the building. What should I do?
You should go ahead, meet her for dinner, and stop trying to put a label on what this is because you simply have no idea. There may be no romantic feelings involved at all, and you don't know how you feel about her either. Assuming things will turn sour and prevent the two of you from speaking in the future is irrational because you don't know each other well enough. Why not take this one day at a time, think of this person as a potential new friend, and simply accept the fact that someone wants to spend time with you. It is only with time and repeated meetings that you will have some clarity about what this is, and what either of you want to do about it. Meeting new people isn't always easy, so enjoy your dinner.

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