Should I accept my colleague’s proposal?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 45-year-old woman and have been married since the age of 24. My husband and I live separate lives and we have two grown children who are now in college. I recently began to get close to a colleague of mine who has worked with me at the same company for over ten years. He is divorced and we have been getting along very well for a long time. A month or so ago, we were at an office offsite, and he told me he was in love with me. I didn't respond because it came as a shock to me, but I have been thinking about it a lot since then. My husband and I are only together because of our children. We only communicate when it has something to do with them or with the house. We haven't been physically intimate for almost eight years. I can end this marriage if I want to, but am not sure I should only to get into a relationship with my colleague. What should I do?
First try and think about your husband and what he means to you. Your marriage isn't really a marriage based on what you have described, and staying together may be great for your home and children, but is terribly unfair to you as well as your husband because you both deserve love, happiness, and companionship. Think about your needs, and what you want from a partner. Think about your future too, and what being in this relationship means in the years to come. You don't have to end a marriage to get into a relationship with your colleague, but you certainly need to evaluate your present situation and ask yourself if it is best for you. You can also spend a little more time with your colleague and get to know him from this new perspective. Ask friends you can trust for advice and think about the legal and financial implications of anything you do before you make any decision.

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