She’s older, how do I ask her out?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I put myself out there to ask a girl out, given that she is a few years older than I am? We are good friends, but I don't think she even considers me as a potential partner because of our age gap. She has been single for a while, and I know she and I would be great together if she could just get over this barrier. I am afraid of saying anything because I don't want to cause any unnecessary friction that could damage our friendship. I feel torn by my need to say something and my fear that she will laugh me off. What should I do?
You can't find out if this is a possibility without having that conversation, because dropping hints or hoping that she may magically change the way she looks at you is a path fraught with possible misinterpretation. If you want to tell her how you feel, you can also speak about your friendship, why it's important to you, and why you don't want to harm it. At the end of the day, you are both the only people who can strengthen or weaken this bond. If you are open to the possibility that she may simply not be interested in a relationship, and if she feels comfortable enough to be honest with you about her feelings, this shouldn't be a problem you have to grapple with indefinitely.

I have a strong feeling that something is wrong between my girlfriend and me, but she refuses to tell me what it is. Whenever I ask, she says I am imagining this, but I am sure she is keeping something from me. How do I figure out what the problem is?
Your girlfriend is either being honest or she is gaslighting you. Time will tell you what the truth is, but the best way to figure things out is to give her time and space until she is ready to talk about what is going on. You can't force a conversation.

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