She sends pics to other guys...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently found out that the girl I am engaged to has been sending provocative pictures of herself to a guy because she thinks he's cute. When I confronted her, she told me it was innocent and meant nothing. She says he lives in another country and it's just a harmless flirtation that makes her feel good. I told her I found it disrespectful and that it almost felt as if she was cheating on me, but she says I am overreacting and being too possessive. She makes me feel like a prude, and I don't know if I am wrong. I am struggling to accept this, but I worry that if I do, she may become bolder and continue these conversations with other people. It has reached a point where I am considering calling off our engagement. What should I do?
Your feelings are valid, and you are entitled to be hurt or disrespected if what she is doing makes you uncomfortable. If she wants to have conversations with other people, that is her prerogative, provided she isn't in a relationship. If you aren't okay with this, you should stand up for yourself and tell her why it's harming your future with her. If that doesn't affect her, ending this is the right thing to do because you will not be able to cope, nor should you be forced to.

My boyfriend has a daughter with his ex-wife, and she constantly says nasty things about me and tries to get him to break up with me. How do I convince her that I genuinely love her father? I want things to get better between us.

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The first thing to focus on is empathy, because you have to understand where she's coming from and why she behaves the way she does. Communication is key, along with patience, because she needs to know you better before her attitude towards you can change. Talk to her, then accept and validate how she's feeling.

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