She isn’t jealous, but not happy either

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My best friend ended a relationship with a guy who then began going out with me. We discussed this, of course, because we didn't want things to be awkward, but it feels as if she resents the fact that he and I really get along. I think we are more compatible, and she doesn't seem to understand that. She is not jealous because she has no feelings for him anymore, but I can sense that she thinks she failed where I have succeeded. I don't know how to discuss this with her without seeming patronising, and it is causing friction between us which makes me sad. This wasn't supposed to happen, and I don't know what to do. I have even considered breaking up with my boyfriend because of this, but haven't, only because I know I will be angry with my friend in the future if this happens. The whole thing seems so unnecessary. Why can't she just be happy for me? What should I do?
You should speak to her more directly and tell her why you feel this way, because it doesn't seem as if you are both being honest with each other. A conversation to avoid awkwardness is one thing, but relationships require constant work, and it feels as if there isn't enough dialogue between you and your friend. There are presumptions on your part, and it feels as if she is refusing to engage with you on this. If neither of you speaks about what you are both dealing with, this will only be harder to address. Why assume she isn't happy? Why assume she thinks she has failed where you have succeeded? This is something you should be speaking about, even if it is difficult, because friendship is about honesty. There may be an argument, or even be a period where you need time off away from each other, but ending your relationship to fix your friendship isn't a solution, especially if you feel as if you are being forced to choose.

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