She is 40 years younger than me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 69-year old gay woman. I recently met a lovely, feisty woman who was the facilitator at a training programme. She's a very evolved human being: a poet, thinker, compassionate, highly intelligent woman. A ‘woman of substance'. Over the four days of training, I found myself becoming attracted to her. I knew she was very young, in her late 30s or early 40s but, by the fourth day, I felt a deep love for her. We connected during the workshop. She lives in another city and came to my city to meet me, saying she also felt a connection with me. We talked a lot about each other, but then came the shock that she is just 28! My world collapsed. She's young enough to be my granddaughter. I am a very ethical person. The problem is I can't seem to forget her. All I want to do is hold her and give her a lot of love. What should I do?
On the one hand, the notion of age just being a number means that you can both do whatever you feel like given that you are both adults. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do for someone much younger. There are other implications to consider though, because a 40-year age gap also leads to differences in what each of you is looking for, and what your expectations are from each other. I suggest you tell her why you feel conflicted, give her a chance to consider what you are saying, and have an honest conversation about what can or cannot happen between you two.

My best friend recently told me that she has some serious problems with my boyfriend because she doesn't trust him. She has no legitimate reasons for feeling this way but wants me to reconsider this relationship. Should I agree?
You have a mind of your own and are capable of listening to all perspectives before choosing what you want to accept or reject.

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