She has suddenly become quieter...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am very confused about how my girlfriend has been behaving lately. We have been together for just over a year, and she has only become quieter as time as gone by. She used to speak a lot, and we used to talk about all kinds of things, but she doesn't say much about her personal life anymore and I am confused because it feels as if I have done something wrong. When I ask her about it, she says I have done nothing, and that she is just trying to work out something in her head, but this doesn't help because our dates are just long, silent evenings where I am the only one talking. I even asked if she wanted to end this relationship, but she said she loved me a lot and didn't want me to go away. I don't know what to do. I have tried everything to get her to speak, but nothing helps. How do I get her to open up and tell me what's bothering her?
If she has explicitly spoken about her love for you, as well as the fact that there's something on her mind, you have the option of believing her, or blaming yourself for no reason. The thing to do is give her time to speak when she is ready, because she has pointedly mentioned that your presence helps. If she isn't speaking, it's because she can't, and you should respect that. If this is too much to bear, and you don't believe this relationship can survive without communication, you can tell her why it isn't working. Make your decision based on how you feel about her, as well as how you want this relationship to evolve. If she gets past this crisis with your help and support, it will only bring the two of you closer and help you deal with future challenges that may arise. Relationships require two people to work together, and this may be unequal at times, but the choice is yours.

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