She has caught feelings for me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently had an intimate affair with a friend, but she is married, and this has caused us a lot of stress because we believe we now have feelings for each other. I am single, but she says she is reconsidering her marriage, and I don't know what to say to her. I love her a lot, but as a friend, and don't know if this is reason enough for her to end her marriage and try being with me. I am afraid of saying this because she may accuse me of playing with her feelings. Her marriage has been on the rocks for a long time, and her husband lives separately, so it's not as if we committed a crime, but it still bothers me because I think she should consider her options carefully before committing to something like this. What should I do?
This is a life-altering decision for her as well as you, so the idea of being coy to avoid any possible accusations from her doesn't make much sense. If you don't feel strongly about her, or you have feelings that don't match hers, now is the time to have that conversation. This isn't about the legality of your affair, given that she is still technically married, but it has a lot to do with how she makes her own decision about her marriage. Speak to her at once, be honest about how you feel, and give her time to make a decision based on that information so she can then look at her marriage more objectively.

My girlfriend and I have been together for four months and she is increasingly clingy. She calls all the time, and I don't have much patience for this because it feels as if she expects me to speak to her or pay attention to her constantly. I love her but I want her to stop this.
You will each need to set boundaries and expectations because that is what the early stages of any relationship are for.

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