She always says we should end it!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a relationship for about seven to eight years and, recently, my partner has been doing a lot of things on purpose. If I make a mistake or do something wrong, she insists on tit for tat. She speaks about breaking up almost every time we fight. She doesn't care about me and is only concerned about herself. She jumps to conclusions and misunderstandings based on her thought processes and always acts as if leaving me is the only solution to ending a fight. So, I end up apologising just to keep this relationship going. Her attitude is always like, if you want to be in a relationship, give my condition your time and concern. Please tell me what I should do.
- Sudhaanshu T
It seems as if there needs to be a re-evaluation of where things stand between you and your partner, because this doesn't sound like a healthy, balanced relationship. Our feelings can change after being with one person for a prolonged period of time, and this is normal because we evolve as we grow older. It calls for better communication and a more honest appraisal of how we feel about the other person, as well as an honest assessment of whether our expectations have changed. It seems as if your partner is no longer on the same page as you, which needs to be addressed instead of deflected. If you feel the need to apologise without meaning it, just to keep your relationship going, it isn't going to work for much longer. This isn't something to worry about, provided you tell her why this upsets you and why it's not okay for her to constantly threaten to leave you. It's a difficult conversation to have, but it's also unavoidable if you want things to change. If she does decide that this isn't a relationship worth being in, it's better for her to be honest about it. To continue to pretend that this is working is just harmful and unfair to you both.

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