She always avoids important issues!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend wants us to get engaged by the end of the year. She and I have been together for more than three years and she feels it's time to take this step. There is also some pressure from her parents, which I understand given that we are both turning 30 in less than a year. I want to get engaged too, but also think we should have conversations about bigger questions like finance, children, and family life after marriage, which she avoids whenever I try and bring it up. She says we will figure it all out as we go along, but I am more concerned about clarity when it comes to these things because I want to avoid unnecessary issues later. We have different personalities, and she has always been more casual about things than I am. I don't want to postpone our engagement for this, but I don't want to be anxious about the future either. What should I do?
You should be clear that these are important questions not just for you, but for your future together. A casual approach is fine, but not when it comes to important decisions that have lifelong implications. You're right to be anxious about these issues, and your questions are also critical for the success of any marriage. I suggest you don't hesitate to be more insistent, because this is less about a clash of personalities and more about aligning your expectations for your future together.

How do my boyfriend and I get better at trusting each other? We both seem to think the other is not being faithful when we are away with friends and it's worrying because neither of us has ever cheated on each other.
If you have no reason to doubt each other, but do it anyway, there are other underlying issues that you haven't identified, and which you need to confront before you can address them. If there is no trust, there is no way for this relationship to grow stronger and evolve.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com