Scared that I won’t find a job!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I are getting a divorce, but I am struggling with the idea because he made me stop working three years into our marriage. He has a stable career and we have no kids, but I don't know how I will support myself once we separate because it has been years since I worked in a corporate space. I don't even know if anyone will hire me because my skills may be obsolete by now. Part of me wants to try and make the marriage work, even though I am miserable at the thought, only because I don't want to be unemployed and broke five or six years from now. I know I will regret this decision to stay, and don't even know if he will agree to giving it a try, but I can't think of any other way of safeguarding my future. What should I do? Is this a bad idea?
You should speak to former colleagues, friends, or anyone you trust, about what your options are and what you are capable or qualified to do. Ask your family members for advice. Speaking to a lawyer is also important because you need to know what you are entitled to, from a financial standpoint, if your divorce goes through. Marriage is a serious commitment, and one that should not be made for reasons that have nothing to do with how you feel about each other. This isn't to say you don't have a right to do whatever you need to feel safe and secure, but being aware of how you will be doing this under duress is also important and can't be ignored. You are wilfully committing yourself to a future of unhappiness on one front, to avoid something else. Weigh the pros and cons, think about what this marriage will look like a few years from now, and make your decision only when you have examined all possibilities. You alone know what this relationship is like, and what you are willing to give up.

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