My ‘quirky’ label is bothering me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am constantly labelled quirky by people who don't take the trouble of getting to know me. This used to okay with me until I recently realised it has affected my life in all kinds of ways. Boys don't ask me out, for instance, and avoid going on dates with me because they think I have this reputation for being somewhat weird. My closest friends don't even introduce me to their male friends because they tell me I am too special to be with someone normal. I don't even know when this turned into such a life-defining characteristic. I am now beginning to worry that this tag will follow me around and prevent me from experiencing so much of what my friends take for granted. How do I stop it? I can't pretend to be someone I'm not just to get people to stop thinking of me in a particular way.
You're right about not wanting to pretend, but you must consider that the problem lies with your friends, not you. If they can't seem to accept you the way you are, the onus on changing this perception is on them and you should have a conversation about it. This is also relevant to the boys who choose not to ask you out, because it means they aren't interested in getting to know you and, by that logic, aren't worthy of your attention. Consider expanding your social circles, and you may be surprised to realize that what everyone refers to as quirky is simply the possibility that you haven't found your tribe yet.

How do I stop getting turned on by a colleague at work? It happens all the time and I feel as if I am in love with her, but it could just be a physical reaction.
Why not ask her out and try getting to know her? A physical reaction is always possible, but to define something as love without really knowing your colleague beyond a work environment may be a bit of a stretch.

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