My parents don’t know about him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year old woman and have been dating a guy for almost a-year-and-a-half without my parents knowing about this. I have kept it a secret because they are very judgemental and will form all kinds of opinions about him without any logic. This has made me lie to them a lot, and it hurts me, but I have had no choice. It has also upset my boyfriend because I have repeatedly had to tell him that I am not ashamed of him. He is patient about it and tries to see things from my point of view, but it has been difficult. I really want to break this news to the family but can't seem to find a way. If I tell them that I have been with him for so long, it will only make things worse which means I may have to lie again. What should I do?
To keep lying is never a good idea because it will affect your mental health in ways that may not be immediately obvious. You are an adult, and you deserve to be able to live in peace, and to make choices about your personal life. Your parents may not be supportive at all, but that is precisely why you should lean on your partner at this time. Sit your parents down, tell them you are dating someone, and treat their opinions as comments that are divorced from the reality of your life. They may be hurtful, obviously, but there will come a time in your life when you will have to choose between your own happiness and doing things that make everyone else happy. This won't be easy, but it can't be ignored forever either, because it isn't fair to you or your boyfriend.

How long does it take for someone to get over the pain of being cheated on?
That depends entirely upon the nature of the relationship, one's ability to forgive unconditionally, and choosing to either stay or move on.

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