My family is full of toxic people!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 32-year-old woman and have been at the receiving end of my family's bad behaviour throughout my life. They are toxic people and my relatives have always played a negative role in controlling everything because of the influence they have on my parents. The older I get, the more I feel the need to cut all ties with them and live my own life. It is only a sense of guilt that prevents me from doing this, even though I know it is killing me slowly. I don't even have the courage to live with someone I want to because of how my family will eventually ruin this relationship. I have reached breaking point, and my partner is ready to support me in any way. How do I know if it is the right decision?
You won't know if it is right or wrong until you do it. What you already know is that it is bad for you because you have had more than three decades to figure this out. We are often coerced into making decisions that are harmful to us because we mistakenly assume that society controls us more than it does. You must remind yourself that you are an adult in control of your life, and perfectly capable of making decisions that lead to the betterment of your situation and your future. If one of these decisions involves moving away from people who mean you harm, even if they are your family members, you should do what is right for you. Your partner wants to support you; don't be afraid to ask for help.

Is it wrong to walk away from a partner just because they are addicted to drugs? I feel guilty about ending a relationship for that reason.
Addiction is a disease, but your partner could have chosen to work on getting better and presumably did not. You walked away because you put yourself over your partner's needs. Your partner did that too, so don't punish yourself.

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