My ex-wife is flirting with me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 42-year old guy and have been divorced for four years. My ex-wife and I were childhood sweethearts and dated for almost a decade before marrying, but it didn't work out for multiple reasons. She moved to another city and we drifted apart after a while, until a month ago when she messaged me on Facebook and said she was in my city. She asked if we could meet for dinner and I agreed because I hadn't seen her in a while. We had a great time and it felt as if we were back in college. I didn't read too much into it but she began messaging more regularly in the days that followed and I get the sense that she is flirting with me now. I don't know how to react because I don't know what she wants, and I am single so I don't mind flirting with her either. My worry is this may change and she may want to consider us getting into a relationship again, which may be a bad idea because of how it affected us both when our marriage ended. How do I deal with this?
You can start by thinking about why your marriage ended and what the implications of letting your ex back into your life are. Think of your feelings for her and how you have coped with her absence after the divorce. Are you happier? Do you miss her? Are you assuming this flirting is a declaration of some sort? She is presumably still living in another city, which is another factor to consider. You can take your time to think about this, for as long as you need, and simply come right out and ask her what her intentions are when you're ready. You are under no obligation to make any decision until you feel comfortable and informed about where this is going, so I suggest you take a few steps back, slow things down, and resume a conversation only when you're better prepared.

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