Met my ex, now I’m conflicted...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a relationship with a girl for a year, and we recently got engaged. We love each other a lot, which is why we agreed to take this step, and we are planning to marry within a year or so. A few weeks ago, my ex-girlfriend reached out and asked if I would like to meet, and I did. We went out to dinner and had a long conversation. I didn't say a word about this to my fiancé, and still haven't told her anything. Meeting my ex brought up a lot of feelings and I am struggling with trying to figure out how I feel. It reminded me of how things used to be between us before our relationship ended badly. I know it's ridiculous to feel this way, but it also made me question my current relationship, which bothers me. Should I speak to my fiancé about this, or just wait until I know what's on my mind? My ex wants to meet me again, but I have not responded because I don't know if I am unnecessarily complicating my life by seeing her again. What should I do?
It's important for you to isolate your current relationship from your past one, and evaluate why things ended with your ex, as well as where things stand with your fiancé. You are engaged presumably because you have found someone who meets a specific set of needs. You are also not in a relationship with your ex because there were specific reasons. Doubts are normal in any relationship, but giving yourself time to understand yourself goes a long way towards resolving them. Ask yourself what you are looking for in a relationship, why you are in one, and what you or your ex are hoping for by meeting. Also, remember that trust is critical to the well-being of any relationship, and withholding information from your fiancé may seem like a good idea, but may also deprive you of advice from someone you love and trust.

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