Is she bored with me already?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for around a year and, lately, whenever I meet her, I find her chatting with people online. She has friends on Facebook and WhatsApp, and chats constantly even if I am with her. When I asked about this, she said she likes it because it keeps her from getting bored, but it makes me wonder if this is a sign that our relationship is failing. If she can't talk to me, or if I can't keep her interested for even a few hours, I'm sure she will decide that it is better to chat with people online. I don't know if this has something to do with short attention spans or if there is something wrong with how I interact with her. What should I do?
Shorter attention spans have been a problem for a while now, and this has become more pronounced since the Covid-19 pandemic that forced a lot of us to change how we engaged with the world. There's nothing wrong with your girlfriend being online and chatting, but to do this at the expense of the time you have together is serious and a definite cause for concern. You will have to address this and ask her if your time together can be treated with more respect. To chat with other people when you are around is disrespectful and doesn't help your relationship, which is something she will need to understand and accept. As for boredom, it is also important to see things from her perspective and talk about why she feels this way, and what she thinks you can do to alleviate this. Communication is key here because, until she comes to grips with the problem, neither of you will be able to find a way forward. Things may deteriorate because you may both get used to the idea of not speaking as much as you used to, so initiate that discussion soon. Your girlfriend needs to know that this is hurting you both.

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