Is our break permanent?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few days ago, my boyfriend called to say that he had been thinking about our relationship and wanted a break from it. I was surprised because I knew we were struggling with some issues but didn't think they were serious enough to consider any kind of separation. I asked if this meant he wanted to date someone else while trying to see where this was going, and he said he didn't know yet. We haven't spoken since that conversation, and I am a little lost because I have no idea what is going on. I don't know if we are still together or if he wants to avoid me for a few months and then get back. I want to call and ask him but the way he has handled this has made me very angry and I don't know if I should wait until he reaches out. Is this something I should forgive if he calls and explains himself?
If you feel disrespected, you are entitled to feeling that way and should consider how you respond to him based on whether you think his explanation is valid. There is really no excuse for this sort of behaviour if you aren't even given the courtesy of knowing whether this is still a relationship. It's possible that he is confused and trying to understand this himself, so I suggest the best thing to do, for now, is let things cool down for a while until you have both had a chance to look at this from a more dispassionate distance. If he dates someone else, it's obvious this relationship is in trouble, but there are no indications of him knowing what he wants yet, so it may be better to not assume anything. When you do speak to each other, however, you should both try and address the issues that brought you both to this juncture, because it's obvious there are things that have been ignored for too long. Until then, wait and try to process your emotions.

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