Is my ex trying to get back with me?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few weeks ago, I ran into an ex-boyfriend, and we began chatting. He told me he was in a committed relationship and asked if I would like to go out for a cup of coffee. It had been years since we last met, so I agreed. Since then, he has been messaging me regularly and I get the feeling he is flirting with me. He knows I'm single, and he also knows me well because of our past, so I know when he's trying to flirt, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I laughed it off a few times and casually asked if his girlfriend knew he was chatting with me. He replied by saying he wasn't in love with her the way she was with him, and that he was considering ending it. I didn't respond, but I'm trying to understand what he wants from me. If he is thinking of rekindling our relationship, it's never going to happen, not after I know he isn't being respectful to his girlfriend. Should I just tell him that I don't want to be in touch with him anymore? Should I reach out to his girlfriend and tell her that he's been chatting with me?
You shouldn't be in touch with anyone who makes you uncomfortable, and his actions don't come across as respectful to you or his girlfriend in any way. As for reaching out to her, there's not much you can say because you don't know what that relationship is like. It's up to her to figure out what his intentions are, and she may find out soon enough. It makes more sense to focus on yourself, back out of any further communication, and put this behind you.

Should I tell someone I love them even though I know they are with someone?
That depends on how prepared you are to handle rejection like an adult, and what purpose you think this declaration will serve, if any. Ask yourself what you really get from this conversation.

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