I’m thinking about another woman..

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 32-year old guy and have been in a long-term relationship for around four years now. My girlfriend and I love each other a lot, but I have recently been thinking about another woman a lot. She is a common friend, and I was introduced to her a few months ago. We chatted and I got a sense that she and I had a lot in common. I haven't been able to get her out of my mind and don't know what to do about this. I wonder if it's a sign that my relationship is not working out, or if I'm meant to be with someone else who is more compatible with who I am. I am confused because it's not as if there are any problems with my girlfriend, so these feelings make no sense. On some days, I am tempted to just tell her how I feel and get this out of my system. I don't say anything only because I am afraid that she won't take it very well and that I may end up regretting this as a huge mistake. What should I do?
It's normal to be mildly infatuated with other people when you have been with someone for a long time. It's important to recognize it as what it is though - a harmless crush - and draw a line between liking someone and thinking of being with them. If this is a serious concern, it could be a sign that your relationship isn't as stable as you like to think it is. It takes two people to make something work, and this is more important after a period of time has passed because an element of staleness gets into the air. It's easier to take a partner for granted when this happens, and to imagine that being with someone new will be more fulfilling. Instead of speaking about this other person, why not discuss your current relationship with your partner, and ask her how she feels about it?

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