I worry about his intentions

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How much time should a couple spend together before deciding to take their relationship forward? My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now, and I have begun to worry about what his intentions are. I assumed, after two years, that we would make this formal and get engaged, but there is no hint of that happening. I recently asked him a direct question about his plans, and he said we were definitely going to be together, but he wasn't ready to make anything formal yet. I don't understand what this means. I don't know what he wants from this, and I am starting to overthink his intentions. Maybe he isn't sure about us and isn't saying anything? What do I do?
You have asked him a direct question and he has responded. His answer may not be the one you're looking for, but you can either ask him to elaborate or accept his request for time. It doesn't make sense to question his motives at this point, given how long you have known him. Tell him why this is upsetting you and ask
for an explanation that addresses your concerns. It's okay for one person in a relationship to ask for time, even if you believe you are both at the stage where this is a formality. If what he says isn't helping, consider putting forward a tentative date by which you can both agree to decide upon what to do next.

Why won't my boyfriend apologise for hurtful things he says? He just brushes them of and acts really nice, assuming I will forgive him, because I always do.
Tell him that not acknowledging his mistakes and apologising for them is an act of disrespect, because no one likes to be taken for granted. Keep calling him out, and reiterate why this matters to you, until he changes.

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