I want to break up, he doesn’t...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been trying to end a relationship for almost a year, but my boyfriend constantly makes me stay back by emotionally blackmailing me. He says he will die if I leave him, promises to change, and cries whenever I talk about how this relationship is not working. He is madly in love with me and says he can't live without me, but the problem is I have no strong feelings for him and haven't been attracted to him for a long time. I know this is not reason enough to end this, but I feel as if my life is passing me by because he won't let me move on. It has made me depressed and my friends don't help or support me because they think he's a great guy and that I am lucky to be with him. They don't see this from my perspective and make me doubt myself because what if they're right and I am just being picky? What should I do?
You should recognise that your friends are entitled to their opinion, but your life is yours alone. If you feel a certain way, you don't need them or anyone else to validate it. If you aren't attracted to your boyfriend, that is a completely acceptable reason to not be in a relationship with him because this isn't a relationship based on convenience. As for being emotionally blackmailed, if you recognise it for what it is, you are doing yourself a disservice by allowing him to get away with it. It's okay to feel guilty, provided you recognise that he's using it against you. We may all love other people madly, but whether they reciprocate is their prerogative. If he can't live without you, he will have to find a way. You are both adults. If this isn't working for you, it's not going to work no matter how much he believes it can. I suggest you take some time off, think about what this is doing to you, and then decide.

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