I need to tell her the truth, but can’t!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a problem with my financial situation and haven't been able to tell my partner about this for a while. She thinks everything is okay and continues to expect me to pay for things I cannot afford. My worry is that if she finds out, this may affect our relationship and she may leave me for lying about how much I earn. I know this makes her sound shallow, but she is a strong believer in honesty more than anything else, and I am sure she won't take this positively. I am confident my financial problems will ease up in a few months, but don't know how I will manage until then. Should I tell her that we should separate for a few months until I work this out?
It seems as if you are prepared to do anything and everything except the one thing your partner expects of you. If you believe the honest approach will lead to this relationship ending, you refuse to acknowledge that what you have is built on lies. You do your partner a disservice by thinking of the worst way she may react, when you are the one being disrespectful by denying her the one thing she has asked of you. Assuming you separate for a while until things get better, who is to say she will come back after a few months? Also, who is to say she won't find out what happened? Why put yourself in a potentially awful scenario when telling her the truth seems so much simpler? If you can't tell your partner about your problems, what is the point of being in a relationship?

My girlfriend always talks about leaving me for a better man, which is why I can't have a single argument with her. Assuming she is joking, isn't it unfair for her to hold this above my head like a sword?
It's unfair and not healthy because a relationship that dissuades arguments or an exchange of views isn't going to last very long.

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