I’m drawn to my girlfriend’s friend

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Is it weird that I am falling for my girlfriend's friend? I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, but we have never managed to connect in any deep or meaningful way. At the same time, her friend and I just bond very naturally and I think she has some feelings for me too. I don't know how to have this conversation with her and can't even bring it up with my girlfriend because I know she will be hurt. I also worry that if I choose to act on this, it may have a negative impact on their friendship which I want to avoid at any cost. At the same time, I can't keep up this pretence for much longer, and will regret not saying anything if this is really meant to be. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure that her friend and I would be great together. What should I do?
First of all, you have to be honest with your girlfriend because you owe it to her as well as yourself. What happens between you and her friend, if at all, is secondary to what you need to do about your current relationship and whether it is working. If your girlfriend feels the same way about the lack of feeling, you can both talk about where this is headed and if there is a future. As for her friend, there may be awkwardness between her and your girlfriend, but that is pre-emptive because you still know nothing about where things stand with her. To reach out and tell her how you feel while you are still in a relationship isn't the best thing to do. If this isn't working, end it, take some time off, try and get some clarity about what you want and why you think you like her friend more, before you tell her. If this affects their friendship, it has to be her decision, because she alone will know what this means for them.

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