I haven’t even met him yet!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been chatting with a guy I met online almost a year-and-a-half ago, and we have never met. We live in different cities, and have often spoken of meeting in person, but this never happens because something always gets in the way. We have professional and personal commitments, so it isn't easy. We like each other a lot and he has begun asking me if I would consider a relationship with him, but I don't know how to react. On the one hand, I think he would be great for me because we know a lot about each other and share a lot of common values. On the other, I don't know if I can agree to be with someone when I have never even seen them in real life and have only managed to do video chats. I don't know what he is like. He says it's a minor hurdle and that we can meet soon, but he also won't commit to meeting if I don't want to be in a relationship because he says it's difficult. What should I say?
You should tell him exactly what you have just mentioned, that committing to anything without meeting someone is not an option. Yes, technology makes everything easier than ever before, but for someone to insist that you get into a relationship before agreeing to meet is absurd. If he is serious about this, and believes you should be with him, the first thing he needs to do is put in a bit of work. If this is a long-distance relationship, it cannot work without you first getting to know each other and establishing a certain amount of trust. Also, no relationship can survive if it is built upon shaky foundations. If you want to meet him, and you should, that is what needs to happen before any further conversations about your future take place. If meeting in person isn't possible even before you get into a relationship, how can it evolve going forward?

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