I have no idea what I am apologising for

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I got drunk a few weekends ago and ended up fighting with my girlfriend. She says I accused her of all kinds of things, and she was humiliated by what I said. I don't recall that evening at all and have apologised every day since then, but she hasn't forgiven me. She isn't even telling me what I said or what I accused her of, which makes things worse for me because I keep imagining all kinds of things. I am tired of apologising when I don't know what I am apologising for. She hasn't met me since that night, and I am beginning to think that she wants to end this relationship and is using it as an excuse. I don't even feel like fighting to make it work anymore. What should I do?
She's obviously hurt, and probably needs time to come to terms with what has happened. You have apologised and can give her time and space to figure out what to do next. If she wanted to end this relationship, she would have by now, but is clearly thinking about what to do next. If you value her presence in your life, you will find the strength to try and make this work even if it takes her time to respond. There is also the possibility of some unresolved issues that may have prompted your outburst in the first place, so I suggest you try and be honest with yourself while waiting for her. It's what she may expect you to do instead of simply apologising.

This girl in my office always stares at me when she thinks I'm not looking. I don't know if it's because she likes me, but I am too embarrassed to try and find out if it's not the reason. Should I ask her out?
That depends upon what you hope her reasons are. There's nothing wrong with asking a colleague out for a cup of coffee, if only to try and get to know them a little better.

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