I don’t get along with his siblings

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My fiancé wants us to marry at the end of the year because we have been engaged for over two years now. I want to marry him but the only reason I have been postponing the wedding is the state of our financial situation. I want to wait until we have enough for a downpayment on an apartment, which we will be able to manage within less than a year, but he says he has waited enough. Marrying now will mean living with his family for almost a year before we can move out and the thought frightens me because I don't get along with his siblings. This is causing a lot of stress, and we argue constantly about what to do. I don't want to break this engagement, but I am afraid he might if I don't agree. What do I do?
All relationships involve a bit of negotiation because it is a balancing act between two sets of expectations. You are both in agreement about moving to a place of your own, and your fiancé has agreed to your terms for two years. If you cannot manage to live with his family for a year until you move out, and he can't wait any longer, there is no compromise being ironed out and one of you will have to make a decision that may not work for the other. Have you considered working things out with his siblings, or trying to reconcile yourself to a shorter postponement if that works? There can be no way around this until you both agree to bend a little. That's what all relationships are ultimately about, in a sense, the ability to find some middle ground.

I want to be perceived as a more positive person, but somehow find it hard to be optimistic. How can I change this aspect of my personality?
Try and get an honest opinion of what you are optimistic or pessimistic about and ask friends you trust for their opinion of how they perceive you.

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