How does one not get attached quickly?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

What are the benchmarks one should keep in mind while looking for something meaningful and worthwhile in terms of a relationship? Why is it so easy these days for people to let go of anybody so quick (what people refer to as ghosting) without any reason? How does one avoid getting too emotionally attached to someone too quickly?
- Sneha T
It is impossible to come up with certified, tried and tested methods to address all the valid questions you have raised. All one should keep in mind is that every relationship is different and depends entirely upon the people in it. If you both know what you are looking for, what you build will be meaningful. As for getting too emotionally attached, this ought to depend upon how well you know someone, and whether you have spent enough time understanding who they are in a way that doesn't seem shallow or superficial. It's okay to be emotionally attached too, provided you are also aware of how vulnerable that makes you to heartbreak. The best thing to do is take time with a relationship because, the more you discuss what you are both looking for, the easier it will be to arrive at a place of better understanding.

My boyfriend is probably done with this relationship, but it is a sense I get from his behaviour alone because he refuses to say it directly. How can I know for sure?
If he isn't communicating, it's safe to assume there are already problems that need to be resolved. Nothing stops you from initiating that conversation though, because you have a right to know where things stand between you two. If he isn't willing to be clear, or honest, you should insist on an explanation, especially if his behaviour starts to feel as if he no longer cares. It is disrespectful and you owe it to yourself to demand answers.

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