How do I win back her trust?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am trying to get my girlfriend to love and trust me again after a serious incident involving another person. I had a lapse of judgement with a one-night stand that almost destroyed our relationship. She took me back and we have been working towards this, but on some days, it feels as if she may never look at me the same way again. I have apologised many times and done everything I can to make this better, but it has been six months, and little has changed. I asked if she wanted to break up, but she said she wanted to keep trying because she believes in us. What can I do to help her?
You can stop apologising and focus on being there when it matters. She has already been clear about wanting to make this work, and the fact that she is with you is proof that she isn't just saying this for your benefit. It takes time to get over betrayal because grief affects people differently. She is probably struggling with a range of emotions she hasn't been able to process yet, let alone discuss, and trying to hasten this won't help either of you. What happened was serious and must be treated with seriousness. She needs time and space more than anything else, and the best thing you can do is give it to her and let her know that you're ready to do what it takes whenever she figures out what she needs from you.

My boyfriend and I moved to another city for his job a few months ago, and it has been hard because I miss my family terribly. I love him but I'm afraid of what this will do to us. How do I cope better?
Homesickness is normal and should be accepted by you both. Tell him how you feel, talk about making trips home if possible, and avoid bottling up your emotions. Also, try giving yourselves a deadline if this situation continues to be difficult to manage.

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