How do I save my sister from him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been trying to get through to my sister, who has been dating a very bad person, but nothing I do or say helps. She lets him walk all over her, doesn't care about what I think, and knows that he controls her completely. They have been together for a year-and-a-half, and, with every passing month, I feel as if he is taking her further away from her family. If they decide to marry, my fear is he will end up taking her away from us forever. My sister and I used to be very close until she met this guy, and I am constantly afraid of what will happen to our own relationship because she doesn't want to listen to anything I say. My parents don't think it's a problem because they like her boyfriend, but I can see through his fake behaviour and know that he isn't good for her. What can I do to help her if she doesn't take me seriously?
She is an adult and, as much as you believe you are looking out for her, there is only so much you can do if she isn't taking your advice seriously. It's impossible to figure out what draws two people together but, if this person is bad for her, she alone needs to get to a place where she can see it. It's obvious that she doesn't think that to be the case at all, so I suggest you do what a sibling is supposed to and give her time to learn from her own mistakes. You may not think highly of her partner, which is okay, but you are as entitled to your opinion of him as she is of her own. She knows what you think of him and is clearly sending you a message. You cannot force her to see things from your perspective, so why not tell her that you're ready to support her or talk whenever she wants to, and leave it at that?

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