How do I know she is the one?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am trying to end a relationship but am not sure if this is the right thing to do. My girlfriend and I have been together for four years, and she expects us to marry in a couple of years, but that is precisely the reason why I feel like ending this. I love her a lot and know she makes me happy, but there is no way I can be sure that this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and, the longer I am with her, the more certain she becomes that this will end in marriage. I know this will break her heart but there is no option left to me. What can I do?
Why do you assume this will end in marriage when you haven't even given your girlfriend the courtesy of telling her how you feel? She may want this to be a lifelong relationship, but there is nothing that prevents you from airing your doubts and being honest, because that helps relationships grow stronger. To run away from this because you presume she will want something specific is cowardly and unfair to you both, because you are preventing yourself from finding happiness instead of trying to understand this relationship better. It's perfectly okay to be afraid, and to have doubts for the next few years. You may never be certain either. To not confront these fears and tackle them together is a mistake because it sets you up for failure every single time, be it with your girlfriend or anyone you may find in future. Be honest, speak up, then make a decision together.

My girlfriend believes we should elope instead of splurging on an expensive wedding, and I agree with her, but my parents will be heartbroken. What should I do?
Why can't you, your parents, and girlfriend, simply talk about what makes the most financial sense and what you both want for your marriage? They may be heartbroken, but they may also be sensible.

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