How do I handle these feelings?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have always thought of myself as someone who would not be able to stick to promises or loyalty when it comes to relationships. This is why I have avoided getting into any even though I have had a few opportunities. I have no regrets about that. This changed a while ago when I met someone at my coaching classes. She was someone I would probably not bother with in school, but we ended up chatting and, somehow or the other, I realised that I had fallen for her. At first, I dismissed it as a crush, but the feelings stayed, and I ended up texting her first. She replied, and talks well, but doesn't initiate anything. She is a completely different person from who I am. For instance, she spends her free time studying while I usually mess around. I have no idea if she likes me or not. It's been a month and my feelings have only grown stronger. I don't want to lose her even as a friend, but I am trying to divert mind from thoughts of her. I don't know what to do.
- Rohit D

It's okay to feel strongly about someone, as well as struggle with those feelings when you don't know if that person feels the same way. If this continues to bother you and gets in the way of you doing the things you are supposed to as a student, the best thing to do is speak to her and tell her how you feel. You have to keep in mind that she may not reciprocate, and prepare yourself for rejection or any awkwardness, but this can be done if you choose to be mature about your reaction. You say you don't want to lose her, even as a friend, which is something you should specifically mention to her. Also, if her priorities do not involve a relationship, it's always great to focus on friendship and get to know her better. It gives her an opportunity to understand you too.

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