How do I get my best friend back?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My best friend and I have not been speaking to each other for a few months because of a disagreement that spiralled out of control. It began with a small argument and turned into this fight where she accused me of being jealous, ruining her relationships, and all kinds of other nasty things that made no sense to me at all. I have not said a word to her since then and am giving her time to process this anger before she reaches out, or before I send her a message. I am still trying to make sense of where this is all coming from though, because she has never said anything like this in all the years we have been friends. I don't know if someone has been poisoning her mind with bad things about me, but she knows me better than anyone and should know that I only want what is best for her. How do I resolve this and make sure our friendship can be saved?
Giving her time and space is a good idea, although it doesn't make sense to do this for an indefinite period because she may get the feeling that you have simply moved on. Reach out and let her know that you're willing to chat whenever she is ready and be prepared to listen to everything she has to say before responding with any justification or counterargument. Yes, she may have not said anything like this before, but that doesn't mean she isn't capable of withholding her feelings from you. There could have been a trigger you have been unaware of, or anger that has not been addressed in a mature manner. Either way, it's obvious that she is hurting, and that you will both need to reconcile your differences if you want your friendship to survive, let alone evolve. If you are sure about wanting to resolve this, and you can get her to ask herself that question too, you should both be able to find a way forward.

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