How do I end my unhappy marriage?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 47-year old man and have been in an unhappy marriage for over a decade. My parents arranged this match for me, and I agreed only because I had no luck finding a partner for years. My wife also knew this was not a perfect match, but she agreed because there was pressure from her parents, too. We tried for a few years even though we knew this was doomed, but things only got worse. We have no children because we both agreed early on that we didn't want to add more troubles to our lives. This disappointed our parents, but they soon forgot about it as they got older. They don't interfere with us much because they know we are unhappy, so they don't even visit very often. I have begun to think about getting a divorce but am worried because I don't know how my wife or parents will react. I can't ask her because she will speak to her parents instantly and I worry that I am too old to deal with any complications. What should I do? I feel as if time is running out for me.
You can't consider divorce without a conversation with your wife. She may speak to her parents, and your parents may get involved too, but to go down this path without that conversation is impossible given that she is the one who has to agree. If you both acknowledge that this is an unhappy marriage, it makes sense to have a discussion about why you are both willing to sacrifice the rest of your lives after everything that has happened so far. Making your parents happy is great, but they aren't the ones who have to live together or deal with the aftermath of their decision. If you're worried, speak to friends or professionals who can advise you on what the legal, financial, or other implications are. Get an understanding of how a divorce will change things for you and consider the pros and cons first.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com