How do I ask a girl I like out?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

There is a girl in my class whom I have a huge crush on. She and I were in school together and ended up in the same college. We know each other and smile, but there has never been a real conversation beyond just basic courtesies. I have been thinking of asking her to study with me because I think it will be a great way to get to know her better, but I don't know how she will react. If she says it's a bad idea, I will be too disappointed, and I may be quite embarrassed to acknowledge her or speak to her again. I don't want that to happen. What is the best way to ask her out?
Why should someone turning down an offer of studying together prompt you to avoid them forever? Are you so fragile that an adult's decision to not study with you can compel you to stop acknowledging them? You don't know this person, have never had a conversation with her, but want to assume that she will accept your suggestion when she has no real reason to. Why not take a step back, make an effort to go beyond pleasantries, and give her a chance to get to know who you are first? Start with small steps, ask her out for coffee, and find out what she's like before suggesting that you study together. As for the possibility of her turning you down, that is what life is about. Maturity and adulthood are about being able to accept other people in your life even if it isn't always on your terms.

I am in love with someone who says he can't be with me because he is too old for me. He is just four years older. How do I change his mind?
If he can't get over the age gap, there is little you can do. You have been honest about your feelings, and he has a problem he can't overcome. You can wait or let it go.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com